Forgiveness
by confessionsofahanyou
Summary: They say demons live through the ages, and when Kagome's life is in danger, InuYasha is determined to carry on living so he might change the terrible fate that awaits his loved one in the future.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer - No I don't own InuYasha, sadly.**

**So yeah, another story from me. And I promise to make it a happy one this time! Yes, this is amazingly short, but it's only a prologue, and prologues in general are short. I will try and update as soon and as often as I can! (chapter 1 is currently in progess... and it's really, really long :S )**

**So here goes!**

**--**

If you have ever been in love, so much so that you would lay down your own life so that your sweetheart might live, then you will know why I did the things I did in the story I am going to tell you.

Except one thing, I didn't lay down my life. I carried on living, for 500 years, so I might come across her existence once more.

If you're reading this, because you think it could be a good piece of fiction. Then great. I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you have convinced yourself that none of this ever really happened to me or the people I loved. I'm happy that you think this is just… fiction.

I had never been accepted into either of the two worlds from which I came, for half of my blood is that of a demon's, and the other half is human. Humans hated me. They howled and jeered at me until my ears bled and my eyes streamed with with tears. Demons were no different. To them, my blood was dirty, disgusting, and filthy. I remember one night, when I was just a little whelp, I was on my own in the woods and I was attacked by demons of all forms. They clawed at the bear skin on my arms and legs until they shone with my own blood. That was the first night I ever killed. I was only young, just trying to defend myself. I felt my claws tear the flesh apart, felt them slide between tendons, tearing skin.

I hated doing it, I felt guilty, even if the souls of those demons were evil, and I felt that nothing deserved to die. But it was instinct. If I hadn't done it, I wouldn't be here now.

My story doesn't have a beginning, or an end.

It just starts.

It starts somewhere in the depths of my heart, and finishes somewhere in my throat, choking me until the tears of guilt roll down my cheeks, staining my face with shame.

But wouldn't you feel the same, if the girl you love, is forever fated to a timeless battle she did not start, all because you had destroyed her faith in you? Don't get me wrong, my best intentions were at heart, as always, I wanted to keep her safe, out of the way of harm. I pushed her away to protect her. How wrong I was.

It was horrific.

She was lost to the darkness because I _wasn't_ there to protect her. She lost herself because of my ineptitude, because she thought I wasn't going to come. And I didn't. I never, ever uttered those words to her that would have saved her.

I could hear her screaming, but it was like being trapped behind a mirror, she was only an illusion, and I was just a painful memory in the depths of her psyche.

It was then I realised just how precious she was. But she was so delicate, so fragile. Because she was a human. Only then did it occur to me that it was easy to lose yourself, if you were a human.

For it only took a moment to doubt. One tiny blip in her faith. Because of me.

I don't remember ever feeling so vulnerable in all of my life, for the one thing that kept me going was suddenly torn from me, like a plant torn by it roots from the soil that keeps it alive.

But I would not give up.

I would not let her be destroyed by the demons of her soul.

For I already knew how I could prevent her death.

And so my story has begun, and it all started with me, a 'worthless' hanyou, by the name of Inuyasha.


	2. Chapter 2

Inuyasha: 24th May 2009

"Mr Takahashi - sir! I'm sorry I forgot to hand this in -"

"That's all right, Yumi, just leave it on my desk." With a fluster, she deposits the papers onto my desk, scurrying off out the door afterwards. I do wonder sometimes, am I really that much of a scary teacher? I never shout at my kids, but that's only 'cause they don't piss me off too much, they actually do what I tell them. I crack my knuckles, releasing the tension in my fingers. I hate writing on chalk boards, its so damn messy and writing at that angle all day is sore, I tell you.

You wouldn't think of me as a teacher, right? No, feudal era me is definitely not teacher criteria, I'd get the sack for smacking the kids probably. The only difference is it's now 2009 and I have just a tad more life experience to know that it's not a good idea to say everything that pops into your head. Especially if you're a peabrain, like me. I teach English to high school kids in Tokyo, and it's quite enjoyable actually. Most of the kids seem pretty engaged, and I can actually get some good stuff out of them, and I don't force them to read Shakespeare or any of that crap.

If I'm honest, I've had probably well over a hundred jobs in my life so far, since it became necessary to make money, anyway. Waiter, lawyer, shop assistant, librarian, you name it. I don't cause much trouble, 'cause if people found out about my real age, and the ears, I'd be pretty fucked. I don't know if there are any other surviving demons today, I don't know what happened to Kouga, Sesshomaru, anybody.

I live in a flat above a sushi bar, I don't smoke, don't do drugs, but I drink. Not a lot, the last time I got really pissed I was arrested for kicking the shit out of some idiot who thought it would be a good idea to try and find out what was under my bandana, but I luckily managed to break out of the handcuffs and kick the police car door open and make a break for it. I'm pretty sure I'm still on their wanted list, though.

I don't have any real friends, I can't afford to, and even if I did I'd just outlive them eventually. My flow of time is different from the people that live around me. I am and always will be a different being altogether.

I look at the clock, twenty to four. The sun is glaring at me through the window and I decide it's time to go. On the way out the foyer, the receptionist, Hatsu, gives me a look. I ignore her.

I cannot describe to you how difficult it is to restrain yourself for 500 years, not to tread beyond looking at another woman with lustful yearning. Besides, I'd probably scar the poor woman for life. I belong to someone else anyway. Someone who is probably with me right now, but just not this me, the me that exists 500 years ago. If that makes sense. I always wonder If Kagome has considered the concept that I might be alive in her present, which I am, obviously, but has it ever entered her mind? I guess not, or she'd probably have asked me in the past. I suppose I wouldn't have been able to supply an answer anyway, because I had no idea of my ageing differences from humans and demons, what with being a bit of both. I'm pretty sure I still look the same as I did some 500 years ago, I don't have any crows feet. Yet.

That's another thing - I can't look at any potential photos of myself, because I purposefully exclude myself from them - imagine what someone would think if they discovered photos from up to 120 years ago, up to now, depicting the same white-haired, hat-bearing idiot. Once again, I'd be pretty fucked.

I unlock my car and dump the huge pile of papers into my back seat - yes, I can drive. The journey home is nice, I keep the window open and the breeze rustles my clothes, caressing me with her soft, cool fingers. I park up and stumble up to my flat, banging my elbow on the pokey door handle on my way in, trying not to drop any papers at the same time.

"Chiyo, you stupid idiot -!" My dumb cat always seems to get under my feet somehow. She meows in contempt, observing me with her condescending eyes. She loves me really.

I stick on the oven and reheat a homemade pizza left over from last night, feed the cat, sit down and turn on the T.V. Nothing worth watching is on, only some shitty programs about gardening, or whatever. I look at my shelf, the familiar pile of notes sitting comfortably amongst the other debris. I sigh.

Those notes are about Kagome Higurashi. I'm not a stalker or anything, I just like to keep track how she's doing, so that when I reveal myself to her - which should be sometime soon - I know how to make my entrance without giving her heart failure. The information I have isn't extensive, just odds and ends. I know when she was born, who her friends and family are, and what she likes to do on weekends when she's not down the well nursing my predictably dented ego. If I'm anywhere near to being right in all this, she should be coming up to her 17th birthday soon.

I've only ever seen her face to face twice. The first time was the day after she was born - I couldn't help it - I just had to remind myself of what I would be taking away from her family if I failed. I drove up to the hospital and waited in my car until 4.13am when her parents left the maternity ward to take Kagome home. Her mother looked like shit, If I'm honest. I guess giving birth is no bed of roses, but she still looked really happy. Like, stupidly happy. And Kagome's father was there - I'd never seen him before, as far as I know he died when Kagome was a little girl. He looked happy too, smiling down at the precious little parcel of joy in his wife's arms.

The second time was about eight years ago, when I was walking a colleague's dog (I might add that I am _never_ going near another dog ever again) and I stopped for a break next to a playpark. Kagome was hiding under the slide, with her knees drawn up in front of her. I could tell it was Kagome almost instantly, as her pissed-off-face was distinctive even when she was eight. She was wearing this little green dress with bows on it, and I have to admit, it was really cute. I watched while she made little patterns in the sand with her fingertips, still scowling of course. Eventually her mother came back with an ice cream from the shop across the road, and took her away.

I sit at my desk, pulling my feet up underneath me, and switch on my laptop. I've been a computer technician, too, so I know my stuff. I open my email account to check my next teacher course assignment. I do these short courses, about 6 weeks long, at other schools around Tokyo. I basically go in and do one unit with them – they are usually small classes, pupils who sign up to do something a bit fun and educational instead of lazing around during free periods. I teach something like poetry, a novel or a do creative writing portfolio. These sorts of things usually supplement students already taking English, just as something extra they can use for an exam essay or university entrance. I scan through the email – it's a school not far from here, large, modern. There are far too many notes for me to take in – teacher contacts, classrooms, recommended units, my class list.

Then something catches my eye. A name, bold and brave, standing like a proud soldier off the page on the screen. Kagome Higurashi. The first thought I have is that I thought she didn't like English. Then the shock sets in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Parts labeled with "Inuyasha" are from his POV, parts from labeled "Kagome" are from her POV (: I hope this isn't too confusing, I seem to have too many Inuyashas with all the time scales!**

Inuyasha: May 25th 2009

I can't believe it. In two days I will be teaching Kagome in an English class in Tokyo. I could always cancel it, call up my boss and tell him there is a family emergency I must attend to… except that I have no family, not anymore. I hadn't planned on meeting her so soon, and especially not like this. What the hell will she think when I walk into the room, wearing a suit and tie, talking about Oscar Wilde and F. Scott Fitzgerald? No, this will be too much for her.

I think wildly for a moment, and for some strange reason, the idea that telephoning her seems like a good one. I scramble for my papers, tearing them around to find her address details. Fuck! It's the most basic information you can have about anyone, why can't I find it? Giving up quickly I jump to my laptop, opening the payment details of all the pupils in on the course. There it is, _please contact Kagome Higurashi on 088976589 if there are any problems regarding her application to the 1E course. Thank you._ No, thank _you_, I think to myself. I slip my phone out of my pocket and dial in the number. I hear the ringing tone, and a panic suddenly grips me, what the hell am I supposed to say? Don't come to the English course that you've already paid for?

Perhaps she's in the feudal era anyway. Yeah, she won't pick up if she's down the well, surely. I start to believe that she won't pick up.

I am so, so wrong.

Someone at the other end of the answers, and I slide off my chair.

"Hello?"

Her voice is silk, exactly how I remember it, and it fills me with such a yearning I have been suppressing for nearly 500 years. Instead of ending the call, which would have been infinitely wiser, I cannot help myself but to -

"Kagome? Is it really you?"

"Who is this? Do I know you?" _Yes_, I instantly think. But instead I close the phone and end the call.

Kagome: May 25th 2009, about 8pm.

_That was really strange_, I think as I walk down the stairs. My mother greets me in the hallway.

"Who was on the phone, honey?" she enquires, her eyes wide.

"I don't know. They just said "Is it really Kagome?" and then hung up. It was really weird."

"Oh well, perhaps you could phone them back and see if they needed something?"

I sigh, nod, and return to my room. That was really strange… but that voice sounded familiar, like an old school friend from when I was little.

I put it out of my mind and turn my attentions to my studies for university entrance exams, which is, as usual, proving unsuccessful. I attempt to remember how to answer questions on the wave function, but my attention drifts to the open window next to me. The night is clear, like an enormous, black all-engulfing sea, the moon a white galleon sailing quietly across the sky.

I hear the familiar rattle of my gutter outside my window. Inuyasha is climbing up to drag me back to the feudal era once more. I sigh, and wait for the usual accusations that I've stayed longer than I originally promised. Instead, he greets me only with silence. He is a dark shadow against the light of the moon, towering above me. Anyone else would run away when faced with Inuyasha's presence, but not me. I know him, I know his soul. At least, I like to think I do. But I know he is no monster, no demon. The man he is inside is compassionate, fiercely loyal and honest, but also very reluctant to show himself.

The look on his face is empty and sad. He's been thinking about Kikyo again. At times like this, I find it very difficult not to be angry or sad, I cannot help my love for him, but I always remember that he is exactly the same. He cannot help his love for Kikyo. It's been like this since she died, one month ago. Don't get me wrong, It's not like I don't feel sad for her, too. In fact, I feel worse, I could have saved her. My skills weren't powerful enough, my bow didn't purify her. I'm not sure if I truly blame myself, as she has always said that she should have remained dead after her encounter with Inuyasha in which she sealed him to the sacred tree.

Inuyasha climbs down from the windowsill and sits himself on my bed, looking at the ground.

"Hey, Kagome." Man, he is really put out.

"Are you tired?" I ask, because he certainly looks it. I bet he's been wondering the forest all night, caught up in the tangle of his own thoughts. He shakes his head.

Ignoring him, I gently push him down on to the mattress and pull the duvet up over his chest.

"Kagome, there's no need. Don't be stupid." He doesn't fight my actions, but just accepts them with a glance of thanks. I sigh, he never really was very good at verbally expressing any kind of gratitude, but I know that he does feel thankful, even if he doesn't say it to my face. I quietly leave the room, avoiding meeting his eyes, as I know he is watching. I am embarrassed, my face is hot – I hardly ever make gestures like this towards him. But somehow, it seems appropriate. I will sleep in the spare bedroom tonight; Inuyasha needs time for himself, patience from me, and most of all he needs understanding. And I understand, and so I am willing to give him the space to recover, however long that may take.

Inuyasha: May 27th 2009

Today is the day. I will finally meet her. Shit, I sound like some superfan of a celebrity. I really don't know how to get out of this, I have thought of everything. Feigned illness, surprise holiday from my non-existent girlfriend, I've even considered just cancelling. But I can't, she would find out my name anyway and inevitably track me down in search of the truth. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, analyzing myself. I take my hair out of its ponytail – yes, I have come to find them quite useful for managing unruly hair – and wonder for a moment, do I look… good? Shit, what am I even thinking? She's more likely to attack me in confusion than consider fancying me!

I have decided to do a creative writing portfolio with this class, starting off with studying some writing techniques. I have all my folders ready, the register, class notes… all I need to do now is teach the class.

The drive to Kagome's school is stressful, my eyes constantly alert for signs of her walking along the street, sitting on benches, waiting at bus stops. I recognize her school at once, it looms towards me, tall and square and grey. I fidget with my hat, pulling it further over my white hair. Maybe a ponytail would have been better after all; I would've at least been less recognizable! I slowly pull into the car park and steady myself for what's about to come. I enter the building cautiously, feeling like a criminal. I really, really shouldn't be here. I sign in with a haughty looking receptionist who views my hat as some sort of obscenity.

"I have a bald patch, okay?" Her eyes widen at me, and I walk away to look for my classroom.

The corridor is like a tunnel, except with no light at the end of it. I look for my classroom, secretly hoping that I won't find it. You would think that after 500 years of preparation I would be ready for such a moment, but I am terrified. And then I finally see it. Classroom 2A.

I can hear the chit chat of youngsters, sharing unchallenged teenage thoughts, gossip, and personal troubles. It seems so _normal_. I try to block it out, because I know I'm only listening for one voice – Kagome's. If I hear it I know that then I cannot face her.

I take one deep breath, and walk inside the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the late update! I was having a rather raucous festive season, and also trying to set out the chapters for this story before I wrote any more! Enjoy, guys!**

Inuyasha: May 27th 2009

Kagome sees me instantly, and her face slowly opens into a stare of horror.

"Er... I'm your teacher for this course. My name is Mr Takahashi."

At that moment, Kagome promptly slides off her chair, and faints.

Kagome:

I sit staring at Hojo, listening to his mindless babbling about some other date he wants to take me on. I know full well he only took this class so he could chat me up, bless his heart. He just has no clue – I'm not ill, so I don't need any of his "herbal remedies" (which, by the way, he has already given several of to me already). Mind you, I'm surprised no one has noticed how ridiculous my illnesses are becoming! I need to have a word with Gramps, because I certainly do _not_ have boils all over my back!

The class hushes up instinctively with the sound of footsteps down the corridor – that will be our new teacher. For this course, it's an outside teacher that's coming to take our class. The footsteps hesitate, and a few peoples' heads crane to try and see around the door. Perhaps they're looking at the door, to make sure this is the right room. Finally the teacher walks in.

He's very tall, and I notice he has a lovely sense of style. His shoes are black leather, slightly pointed. My eyes skirt further up his body and I see that he irons creases in the front of his trousers, his shirt is coolly untucked and he wears his black tie loosely. His long white hair cascades over his shoulders in a disheveled, pleasing sort of way, and his amber eyes –

Wait, _what?!_

I am staring straight into the face of someone who shouldn't even be here, someone who can't _possibly_ be here! My head suddenly feels very light and as I try to say his name, I feel myself sliding off my chair in what can only be a faint.

Inuyasha:

"Oh, shit."

"Sir!" pipes up one of the teenagers, all of whom are now running to form a circle around her, "She's fainted sir! Do something!"

"Oh no, it must be one of her illnesses again!" says a rather sincere looking boy who is sat in the chair next to Kagome's. That must be Hojo.

I shake my head and pull myself together – Kagome's on the floor. Oh dear, I have to do something. What on earth _do _I do? I don't know the nurse's room phone number, I don't even know first aid. Fucking hell, you would have thought that after 500 years I would know CPR, but at this moment giving an unconscious Kagome mouth-to-mouth doesn't seem appropriate. I suddenly have an idea, that might just work!

"Class, I will take Ka-" I clear my throat, as far as these kids can see, I shouldn't know her name, "I will take her to the nurse so she can lie in a comfortable bed in which to come round." I approach her limp, tiny body and lift her with ease. Some of the students move back to let us through. I turn around, Kagome's head lolling awkwardly over my arm.

"Er, guys, it's probably a good idea if you just stay in this room, but obviously class will be postponed until our next timetabled lesson. I need to see to this girl and make sure she's okay. You can do whatever you want, frankly." With that, I leave the room, closing the door with my elbow on the way out.

I make my way down the corridor, looking furtively for a fire escape, a door outside – anything! I shift Kagome round so that she's riding on my back, just like old times… Ugh, snap out of it you idiot! Her warm head falls onto my shoulder and I feel myself getting hotter.

Okay, I seriously need to get out of this building. And quick, this is my only opportunity to properly reveal myself to her without people watching. I turn a corner, and thank the heavens, there is a fire escape. I push the handle and feel the cool air on my face, relaxing me instantly. Amazingly, I have picked the door that leads to the car park, and I race towards my car, crouching behind other cars as I go. As you can imagine, a teacher cannot be caught kidnapping an unconscious pupil, especially not when he's about to put her in the back of his car.

I search in my pocket for my keys, and click the button, unlocking my car. I open the back door, and as gently and quickly as I can, slide Kagome in. I get in after her and climb into the driver's seat. I look back at Kagome, and take her in for the first time. She is gorgeous, simply radiant. Her hair falls across the leather seat and her chest delicately rises and falls with every light breath she takes. I look at her long legs, her hands resting on her waist. I take a deep breath, and gently rest my throbbing head into the steering wheel. This sets off the horn, loudly.

I leap up out of my seat, completely shitting myself and hitting my head off the roof simultaneously. Christ! I am going to have heart failure at this rate. I rub my head, ouch! It seems that I wasn't the only one startled, as I hear a groan from behind me. I turn around, and see Kagome starting to sit up, holding her head in her hands.

"Ohhh, Christ," She says. "What the hell was that noise?" She lifts her head and looks right at me.

She stares at me, her eyes looking deep into mine, her lips part slightly and she leans towards me.

"Hey," I say.

Kagome screams, very loudly.

"Shut up, shut up! AARRRRRRGHHH!!" I scream too, covering my sensitive ears. Jesus, she never used to be this loud! Her hands scrabble for the door, but I am too slow to stop her. When her hands pull the door lever, the door doesn't open. Ha ha! The child lock is on, how ironic! But this only makes her scream even louder.

"Let me out! What are you doing? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" She slams her fists against the window, and begins screaming for help. Oh, for God's sake! I decide to take evasive action – I lean over my seat and grab her wrists, holding her still.

"Shush, shh! Kagome, it's me, it's Inu-"

She slaps at my face, very hard. "Arrrrgh! Calm down, girl! It's ME!!" She stops struggling, and stares into my face, finally shutting up. She leans back and pulls against me, and I release her. "Are you gonna be quiet now? Jesus, Kagome, you are gonna get me in some serious trouble!"

"Who are you? I'm dreaming. Oh God, I'm hallucinating, this isn't happening!" She shakes her head, her hands wound into her hair.

"I am exactly who you think I am, and you're not hallucinating. Listen, I have to be quick, and you _have_ to believe me! I am Inuyasha, but I just live in your present – demons live for hundreds of years, sometimes thousands – I'm half demon, so I have stayed like this for 500 years now. I am real, Kagome. Look at me." She opens one eye, and seems to accept this. I exhale, and sit relax in my seat.

Kagome keeps opening and closing her mouth, as if she has something to say.

"I never thought – how could this happen? – I never imagined that you would be alive in this world. You live beyond the well, this is _weird_! What if you encountered yourself? Where have you been all this time? Why didn't you come to see me?" Her eyes glisten with tears, and they begin to slide down her face. Oh, fuck. I always make her cry.

"Shh, it's okay," I whisper to her, "I have never come to see you for that reason – what if I came to your house, and then I came through the well to see you as well, then there would be two of us! I have no idea what would happen in that situation, but I don't think I want to find out anytime soon." I reach out my hand to wipe her wet face, but she shies away from me. I withdraw my hand, stung. I sigh, this is so difficult.

"Then why are you here now?" Shit, I have to lie. I can't tell her yet. She needs to trust me first.

"Er, I didn't plan this, Kagome."

"I want to go home. Unlock the door." I sigh, I need to let her get out. She needs to know that I am a friend. I take out a piece of paper from one of the folders on the passenger seat, take a pencil out of the glove compartment and jot down my address.

"What are you doing? Let me out!"

"I know, I'm getting there. This is my address," I say, handing her the piece of paper, "you can come and see me any time you want. It's not that far from your house, actually, perhaps a 20 minute walk." I smile at her, but she doesn't return it. She wipes her eyes and I unlock the door for her. She gets out without saying a word.

*

I inhale deeply, and truthfully, I find it difficult not to cry. That went so, _so_ badly. She will probably never come to my flat, and will probably withdraw from my English class. I turn the keys and start the engine. I just need to go home and take a shower. I barely notice anything on my drive home; I am in a totally different world. Kagome has weaved her way into my every thought; all I can see is her beautiful face, her flowing ebony hair. All I can smell is the sweetness of her skin, her hot tears pouring down her face. Some twenty minutes later, I stumble into my flat, slamming the front door behind me. I dump my stuff on the floor, which is already messy anyway. I click on the bathroom light, and reach into the shower. I put it on the highest pressure and heat. Stripping off my clothes, I leap under the hot jets of water, letting the steam engulf me. The water streaks down my body, rolling over every muscle contour, and wetting my hair so that it hangs in straggly little ropes. I turn my face to the water and open my mouth, letting the boiling liquid splash off my tongue and run down my throat. I feel a rush of anger – I am so _fucking_ stupid! And with that, I punch a hole in the tiled wall. Something else is now flowing over me, my own blood. Shit, now look what I've done! I flex my hand, assessing the damage. Never mind, it will heal overnight.

I calm down, and begin the mundane process of washing my hair.


End file.
